What to do, what to do

Grad school is officially underway! It is only week three and I already feel like I have read more pages in this short amount of time than in my entire college career. And if you thought it was difficult to understand peer-reviewed articles in undergrad, you have another thing coming for you in your Master's program. Besides pounding knowledge down my throat in the form of endless chapters, being back in classes has been a dream. We get to intelligently discuss our ideas on communication theories and even talk about the volatile election campaign climate with people who actually pay attention to politics and the trends and know what they are talking about, unlike the thousands of people with only an Internet connection, a Facebook account, and an opinion.

This semester has been insanely different for me compared to my previous college years for one reason specifically: I am much less involved on campus than I have been in the past. My classes - while mildly time-consuming - are only two days a week, and my job working as a Graduate Assistant for Student Activities on campus only requires a 20 hour work week for me to be able to afford my amazingly low rent and still save. I designed my schedule to give myself essentially a four day weekend where I can study my ass off and still have time to take a break. Although, if you know me at all, you know I get restless and bored easily and always feel the need to be doing something. This has proven a challenge these past few weeks since I am making a conscious effort this semester to focus on me, what I want to be doing, and actually relaxing. I have discovered that sitting at home "relaxing" is not all that relaxing and it is actually making me feel more stressed out that I am wasting my life away watching Netflix or cooking food. Maybe I am being dramatic, or maybe I just need more stimulation than others to be happy.

To figure out how to balance my need to take some "me" time and my need to feel accomplished each day is not easy, but I am working every day at it. I try to make time to take pictures of the sunset each night, but because of who I am as a person, I did not make it out last week at all to do that. Some weeks are better than others; I am excited when it begins to get dark and I can head out to my favorite spot by the river, but other weeks I do not even want to move from my spot on the couch or at my desk. I have stopped getting upset with myself when I don't make it out because there is honestly nothing worse than being down on yourself, the one person you can never get away from. Having that outlook has been so beneficial for me personally, and I hope anyone reading this can feel the same.

With so much free time on my hands (besides all the hours spent reading articles and textbooks about communication, politics, and organizations) I have been looking into a few options for how to proceed with the remainder of the semester: I could join the Radford Redcoats equestrian club and start riding horses again, I could buckle down and focus on getting my blog up and making money, or I could learn something new like graphic design or how to code. The possibilities are endless and because I am so bad at making decisions, they may remain endless unless I pick one soon. Of course there is always the chance I could pull a typical Erin move and try to do all four of those things plus grad classes and work! Only time will tell. Maybe next week my blog post will be about how naturally amazing I am at writing HTML.. or maybe not.