A summer spent apart 5.17.16

This summer marks the second time my boyfriend and I will be in a long distance relationship. I was sure the first time would be the last, but lo and behold, here we are again miles apart.

I am currently enjoying a much-needed break from the pressures of reality on the lovely island of Turks and Caicos with my family. This vacation is the culmination of each member of my family’s hard work: My graduation from undergrad, my sister’s graduation from grad school, my dad’s birthday on Sunday, and my mama’s new job.

While I am forever grateful to have the opportunity to experience this incredible place and actually have a chance to (be forced to) relax, I cannot shake the sadness I feel not having my best friend along for the ride. As I lie by the pool, frolic in the sound, and essentially do nothing all day I am happy. But (there is always a but with me) when the day began to wind down and I attempted to fill my time the best ways I know how, I realized how much I miss Nicholas.

That is not to say I did not miss him when I was “busy,” only that the twinge of sadness slowly crept closer and closer to the front of my mind as the day went on. By dinnertime, I was crying. I never could tell if it was because my anxiety was causing me to think about how long I would be without him or if I really was missing him a little extra today. It was probably both.

He called me today (thank you love) and I couldn’t stop smiling for a while. I am so grateful to be with someone who knows how emotional I am and that I simply want to hear his voice and know how his day was. Unfortunately, that call made me even sadder because he is sick and I cannot be there today or even next month to take care of him. Not that he needs me to take care of him, but who doesn’t love a little extra attention when you are not feeling your best?

Actually being able to speak with him (he’s out of data which makes keeping in contact difficult) and getting a great hug from my sister when I really needed it made me feel better. Watching “24” with Lauren and discovering the newest Snapchat filters helped too. Here’s to hoping tomorrow is easier.